


I love you, Sammy.

by LeighLemont



Series: Wincesty One Shots [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Absent John Winchester, Absent Parents, Baby Sam Winchester, Bedtime, Bedtime Stories, Caretaker Dean Winchester, Child Neglect, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Fluff, Kid Dean Winchester, M/M, Reading, Routine, Sad but cute, Sleep, Sleeping Sam Winchester, Young Dean Winchester, Young Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 04:44:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18423069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeighLemont/pseuds/LeighLemont
Summary: Dean's 5Sammy's a baby.Dean is five now and he tries not to cry like that anymore. It never really solves anything and, while daddy had never told him to stop crying, daddy never really comforts him anymore either. He misses the way daddy used to pick him up when he was sad, usually making it better with gentle words and his whisker rough kisses. Mommy’s gone now, and daddy doesn't act like that anymore, so Dean had to learn how not to need it. Dean has to be big and strong now, so that there’s someone there to hold Sammy because Sammy’s too little to understand and look out for himself. Sammy is his to take care of now, more than he’s dad’s or anyone else’s, and Dean takes it very seriously.





	I love you, Sammy.

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely adore comments. Let me know what you think!

Dean's all ready for bed and Sammy’s already had his bottle, is changed into fresh pajamas and a new diaper, and is gurgling up at him expectantly while Dean settles into place. They’re sitting on the big hotel bed, just him and Sammy in the middle and an ocean of comforters and pillows rising up around them to keep Sammy from rolling away. Sammy doesn't try to roll away from him a lot, but daddy taught him to make sure he always has lots of things in place to keep Sammy safe; so he always makes a blockade between Sammy and danger if he can. 

Dean doesn't know where daddy is right now. Daddy left hours ago to “go to the store”, but that never tells Dean how long he'll be away. Sometimes going to the store takes daddy all night and he comes back in the morning not feeling good and telling Dean to make Sammy be quiet because daddy's head hurts. At the moment, Dean’s not really concerned. The first time daddy didn’t come back, Dean had been terrified that something had gotten daddy too. It had only been about two months since the fire and Dean had stayed up all night waiting, tears falling silently down his face while he’d rocked Sammy and waited in the unfamiliar hotel room. 

Dean is five now and he tries not to cry like that anymore. It never really solves anything and, while daddy had never told him to stop crying, daddy never really comforts him anymore either. He misses the way daddy used to pick him up when he was sad, usually making it better with gentle words and his whisker rough kisses. Mommy’s gone now, and daddy doesn't act like that anymore, so Dean had to learn how not to need it. Dean has to be big and strong now, so that there’s someone there to hold Sammy because Sammy’s too little to understand and look out for himself. Sammy is his to take care of now, more than he’s dad’s or anyone else’s, and Dean takes it very seriously. 

Dean’s doing his best, but he worries about what will happen when he goes to school next year. He and mommy used to talk about school and how fun it was going to be to meet and play with other kids, but now he’s worried about who will be with Sammy all day. Mommy would have stayed with Sammy before, but now Dean isn’t sure daddy will remember everything Sammy needs while Dean’s away. Daddy gets frustrated with Sammy sometimes when he cries and doesn’t always know what to do. Dean still has a couple of months until he starts school and he hopes that it’s enough time to teach daddy everything he’ll need to remember.

Dean is very good at figuring out what Sammy needs before Sammy needs it and planning ahead. He can dress, bathe, change, feed, and rock Sammy to sleep. He knows how to make Sammy go back to sleep quickly if he wakes up crying in the middle of the night, and he can tell the difference between Sammy needing medicine because his teeth are hurting and Sammy crying because he’s feeling cranky. Even though Dean is pretty good at taking care of Sammy on his own now, at bedtime there’s one big thing he can’t do that mommy always did. 

He can’t read. 

Mommy had always read stories to Dean before bed, and when Sammy had come home from the hospital, she’d started reading to both of them every night in Sammy’s nursery. She always let Dean pick what books they would read, and then when they were finished, she and Dean would put Sammy in his crib. They would both say goodnight to Sammy, ‘blow him a kiss Dean, say I love you’, and then mommy and daddy would tuck Dean into bed and tell him goodnight too; usually after another story when he was wrapped up in his own blankets. Dean misses the warm snuggles from mommy and the shoulder rides to his room from daddy. He remembers how nice it felt to have every bedtime be the same, in the same place, surrounded by the same people, and the same things. 

He remembers how good it felt, so he tries to do the same for Sammy as much as he can; even though Sammy’s too little to pick out the book or help turn the pages and even though Dean can’t really read. He knows some of these stories, the ones he pulls from Sammy’s diaper bag every night, by heart and he makes up words to go with the pictures in the ones he can’t remember. Dean doesn’t have a crib to lay Sammy down in. He doesn’t have a rocking chair to rock Sammy to sleep like mommy did. He can’t guarantee that the stories he makes up for Sammy are as good as the real stories he can’t decipher on the page. 

There were a lot of things Dean can’t do, but he always tries his best to make it as right as he can. He pulls Sammy into his lap and opens the first book, pointing to the funny drawings of rabbits and the bright colours on the page. He makes this one up every night, and usually doesn’t tell the same story, but Sammy doesn’t seem to care. He always sits and looks at the pictures. He points at the words that Dean’s not really reading. He laughs at the funny voices Dean makes and the way Dean tickles his sides sometimes while he goes through the nightly routine.

It’s time for sleep when he’s gone though all the little books that live in Sam’s diaper bag. Sammy fell asleep two books ago, but Dean wanted to finish them anyway. It doesn’t feel like he’s done a good enough job if he doesn’t read them all to Sammy every night, even if Sammy usually falls asleep before they’re done. Now that he’s finished, Dean sets them down on the other side of the barricade on the seemingly massive bed. He’ll pack them away safe in the morning and take them out again tomorrow night, regardless of what new hotel bed or couch he and Sammy are sleeping on then. For now, he shimmies down next to Sammy, pulling a blanket over them both, careful of Sammy’s face. 

“I love you, Sammy.” Dean whispers, pressing his lips once against Sammy’s warm cheek and feeling Sammy burrow closer to him. Dean closes his eyes and, wrapped up in the comforter with Sam snuggled against him, he falls asleep feeling loved too.


End file.
